Well Alrighty Then!

We've been online for a number of years. At first spam not the meat Spam® was not a huge problem. We quickly learned to use disposable email accounts for online activities. Lately spam has been getting through to my Yahoo email as well as being left as comments on my blogs. So I'm going to deal with this issue with a little bit of good old fashioned Canadian humour.

The good news is I am a new multi-millionaire thanks to someone from Niarobi or some other foreign place just as soon as the cheque I wrote them clears. Thanks so much guys! I will now be able to pay the high heating costs in Canada and with any luck I might even have enough left over to buy a snowmobile with a tank of gas. This is most fortunate for us and coming at a rightly time seeings as I was just about to send my husband out of our warm igloo into the vast Great White North to get fresh supplies of maple syrup, poutine and beer. Unfortunately the funds you are sending me will not get us any better television reception because we only have one channel and that is CBC. CBC airs hockey all day, every day and even though they axed the hockey night in Canada song we still sing along because that is Canada's national anthem, don't 'cha know, eh? It's a good channel though as long as the reindeer don't move our antenna too much. Ok so I'm waiting very patiently for my cheque and again thank-you so very much!

Better: I can grow male body parts even though I'm a female. Those extra body parts will surely come in handy if I sell them off to raise money for heating costs, maple syrup, poutine and more beer. Could I please get the extra strength ones? Here's what I'm figuring. I can sell them to a certain meat packing plant knowing they are Listeria free. Depending on havesting times they would be nut free as well so there would be no fear of Samonella. If I grow a lot of these extra parts I might even be able to afford a canoe!

Best: To the person spamming my blogs wanting to know if I would like to see you nakkid, thank-you for your generous invitation. I live in Canada so nakkid is only acceptable for 2 days the last week of July when there is not snow on the ground. Why on earth did you not make the connection that virtually every Canadian is born in April with the vast majority of them being born on April 1? It's because nakkid is not our national pass time, hockey is. Seriously that is a maple leaf on our flag not a fig leaf. We did have a few non-conforming Canadians who decided to have their kids on February 29 but we rounded them up and shipped them off to other countries. My theory is it is these non-conformers who have become spammers but since they don't have enough influence of Canadian humour their brains turned to mush and they became less entertaining than the US telemarketers that make daily calls to Canadian residents. Heck they aren't even as smart as telemarketers! Oh the irony, you can leave Canada but can't leave in spirit! I'd seriously love to play with the spammers but I'm focusing on Watermelon Day. July 30 is Watermelon Day in Canada. We brush off the snow from the garden and harvest that small but sweet watermelon. After 15 minutes of high feastivities including lighting a few matches we head back into our igloos where we settled down for another long season of Don Cherry.

Garden Gnome
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