Look closely at the picture. Can you spot the problem? Let me give you a clue. It isn't the temporarily painted walls that will shortly be a distant memory as we gut and renovate the bathroom. Still can't see the problem? If that's the case there is a very good chance you are somehow related to my husband! See that empty roll on the roller? See all those rolls sitting neatly on the side stand? Ok go back and see the empty roll? That's the problem!
I was quick to blame it on his aging eyesight which I will point out is no longer 20/20 but he is so thrilled with eyeglasses he actually washes them. Geeshs! Anyone who has worn eyeglasses for any length of time knows you don't have to wash them or even put them in that silly case. Eyeglasses thrive on abuse, the more the better but I digress. Back to the problem. It can't be an eyesight problem because I have seen him set up the percolator for morning coffee while still sleeping. He has all fingers and thumbs that as far as I know are still working because he has no problem being ambidextral with the television remote controls. It's not a comprehension problem either because I've seen him follow sport programs that you would have to have a PhD in to follow. It's not like he is lazy either and he does help around the house not only with daily housework but also household repair and maintenance. It's not a mobility issue as his arms can easily reach the roll holder right from the comforts of the throne. We don't have any pets that the roll needs to be protected from.
So after searching through several psychology books I have come to the conclusion that he has a deep seated roll phobia. This phobia results in an unconcious avoidance of the roll which leads to roll dementia affecting only the roll and nothing else. The prognosis for this rare disorder is not promising. The disorder does not respond to the regular nit picking, constant reminders or any hormone related outlashes. There is no know drug therapy. Even with considerable behaviour modification there will be a multitude of back sliding. Some treatments suggested (eg. Exlax & no roll) seriously fall under the category of cruel and unusual punishment. In lieu of getting Dr. Phil's opinion on this situation I have decided to treat this disorder myself by example. Perhaps if he sees me change the roll often enough he will overcome this phobia. It seems the best course of action that will do the least harm in this situation
I was quick to blame it on his aging eyesight which I will point out is no longer 20/20 but he is so thrilled with eyeglasses he actually washes them. Geeshs! Anyone who has worn eyeglasses for any length of time knows you don't have to wash them or even put them in that silly case. Eyeglasses thrive on abuse, the more the better but I digress. Back to the problem. It can't be an eyesight problem because I have seen him set up the percolator for morning coffee while still sleeping. He has all fingers and thumbs that as far as I know are still working because he has no problem being ambidextral with the television remote controls. It's not a comprehension problem either because I've seen him follow sport programs that you would have to have a PhD in to follow. It's not like he is lazy either and he does help around the house not only with daily housework but also household repair and maintenance. It's not a mobility issue as his arms can easily reach the roll holder right from the comforts of the throne. We don't have any pets that the roll needs to be protected from.
So after searching through several psychology books I have come to the conclusion that he has a deep seated roll phobia. This phobia results in an unconcious avoidance of the roll which leads to roll dementia affecting only the roll and nothing else. The prognosis for this rare disorder is not promising. The disorder does not respond to the regular nit picking, constant reminders or any hormone related outlashes. There is no know drug therapy. Even with considerable behaviour modification there will be a multitude of back sliding. Some treatments suggested (eg. Exlax & no roll) seriously fall under the category of cruel and unusual punishment. In lieu of getting Dr. Phil's opinion on this situation I have decided to treat this disorder myself by example. Perhaps if he sees me change the roll often enough he will overcome this phobia. It seems the best course of action that will do the least harm in this situation
©2006-2009
Um... I don't see a problem. The TP is near the toilet ;-)
ReplyDeleteSpoken like a true relative ;) LOL!
ReplyDeleteLOL! My hubby does the same thing. I've just adapted to it and resigned my life to having to replace the rolls.
ReplyDeleteMy son is a master at leaving one sheet on the roll in the holder. Also good at leaving 1/2 cm of milk or juice in the container - these conditions are related I'm sure
ReplyDeletehahaha! this post is so funny! i'm so relieved that my husband does not suffer from the same disorder. wish you all the luck with the mister. :)
ReplyDeleteGargantua sometimes it's just easier to go with the flow :)
ReplyDeleteIan having raised kids I can certainly relate! Notice it seems to be a male thing :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mama Mia. I'm going to need all the luck I can get!
ReplyDeleteHa!!! So true...
ReplyDelete